Why What We Say to Pregnant Women Matters by Laurie Chamberlin, CD, ICCE

You’re not pregnant. You don’t know anyone who is. And, you might not even be a woman. Then why is this information about pregnancy and birth important for everyone to read?

Because whether you run into a pregnant woman at the gas station or your daughter is pregnant, the way you interact with her will help her to become the mother she will be. 

How members of society view, treat, speak to, and receive pregnant women sets a tone for who they will become. 

This goes for babies, too. How we are born and how we are cared for helps to create a healthy society from the very beginning. Babies change women into mothers, men into fathers and couples into family. Families create society. Families create community, one by one.

Dr. Gayle Peterson, author of “Making Healthy Families,” writes: “Research shows how a woman experiences her birth impacts her feelings of self-esteem and confidence as a mother.” 

I would expand on this to include pregnancy, as well. As a childbirth educator who has worked with hundreds of pregnant women, I can clearly see that how we talk to pregnant women affects how she feels. Positive comments can help her to feel confident and good about herself while the opposite can make her doubt her ability to give birth and care for her baby.

Pregnant women are the hub of a societal network that includes her partner, her father, her mother, her in-laws, her family practitioner, her midwife or obstetrician, her nurse, brothers, sisters, doulas, other expectant couples, childbirth educator, co-workers, and people on the street who want to comment on her protruding belly. 

These are a great many influences to encounter during a pregnancy. 

Think of how the following common statements may contribute to a pregnant woman’s sense of well-being and confidence: “You look so big! You’re having an epidural right? Tired of being pregnant? When are you going to have that baby? It seems like you have been pregnant forever.”

Imagine if she hears supportive comments instead: “You look perfect! Amazing, you’ve got a little baby in there. I’m sure your baby will be born when he’s ready! Well, your body knows how to carry pregnancy, seems like it will know how to give birth.” 

When a woman is surrounded by positive support for wellness and a view of normal birth, not only will she begin to expect a normal outcome, she will gain confidence in her ability to carry a baby on the inside, to give birth, and care for her newborn and herself ... making a healthy community, one by one.

Laurie Chamberlin, CD, ICCE, LE teaches childbirth preparation classes, lactation classes and is a prenatal counselor for childbirth preparation serving the Grass Valley/Nevada City/Auburn area. She has an office in downtown Grass Valley at 115 S. Church Street, Suite A. For more information visit her Web site, www.chamberlinchildbirth.com email: lauriechamberlin@comcast.net tel. 530.477.5442