Leading and following in partner dance

Most partner dances consist of the interaction of a lead and a follow; the roles are clear and unambiguous. Contemporary blues dance is seriously messing with this idea, but most partner dances start from this idea of leading and following. But most dance teachers don’t bother to teach what leading and following really are, or maybe they don’t know. So partner dance is based on this fundamental concept, but almost nobody’s teaching it, or at least not teaching it seriously and well.

Leading isn’t pushing or pulling or shoving your partner; it’s communicating an intention. Following is grasping that intention and responding to it. Both roles are free and 100% voluntary; good leading has no violence, no element of coercion. Learning how to communicate an intention nonviolently, and learning how to respond to an intention creatively without giving yourself away - those both take a lot of learning. The two roles are equally demanding. These are very subtle, sophisticated activities, and nobody even begins to get it without a few years of hard work, and a lot of willingness to be wrong and look stupid. If you can’t stand being wrong and looking stupid, partner dance is not for you.

Beginners can’t lead or follow at first; you start out simply learning how to execute a step at the same time your partner executes the corresponding step. Some dancers stay at this level, and they may become very polished and sophisticated with their choreographed routines. But you can always tell the difference between a polished routine - choreography - and real leading and following: choreography looks like a routine, two dancers executing steps together, rather than a couple dancing. It’s rehearsed; it’s not fresh and spontaneous.

Imitation and choreography are valid preliminary stages for beginners to go through. But beginners deserve to be pointed in the right direction; they deserve to be learning how to lead or follow from the very start. Leads should never be taught that it’s OK to shove your partner around, however gently. Leading isn’t shoving, and it’s not a matter of learning to shove more gently; leading is inviting. It’s communicating an intention, vs. giving an order.

Leading and following are forms of engagement with your dance partner. Leading is active engagement; following is responsive engagement. A lead invites a follow, for instance, to take a step of a certain size and speed in a certain direction, with a certain quality of movement. The difference between inviting and shoving is that the follow is completely free to accept the invitation or not; shoving, pushing and pulling take away the follow’s freedom of choice. The dance can go on whether your partner accepts your invitation or not. But if you’re engaged with your partner and with the music, the invitation will almost never be declined, because it will be what both partners want: you want to move together to the music, that’s why you do partner dance. That’s what feels so fabulous.

The lead is communicated not by pushing, pulling or shoving but by contact, both physical contact and in most cases visual contact. The goal in creating and tending your contact with your partner is to keep it as even as you can: you are in contact with your partner, but the contact, the frame - be it via arms and hands, or more intimately via legs and torsos - simply stabilizes the spatial relationship between your 2 bodies. I move from my center, and my partner senses that movement and moves with me. I do not have to push her or pull her; she wants to move with me, and as long as I’m not moving stupidly or absently or wrongly for the music, she’s happy to move with me. I lead my partner by inviting her to move with me in a way that suits the music and is easy and natural for her. It’s my business as a lead to know how much weight she has on each foot, and what kind of step will be easy and natural for her, and will fit the music. I lead from my center, and my partner follows from hers. I do not lead with my hands or arms; our arms simply stabilize us as we move together voluntarily.

Leading and following is not easy to learn, but it’s what most partner dance is based on, and it should be taught to all dance students from the beginning.