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Does this sound like you?...   "I’ve been singing along with the exercises, and I can do them and it’s all good, but I just feel that I don’t GET it. I don’t see how doing these scale-based and word-based exercises (ya, ha, ee, etc) will get me to where I want to be. I feel like I'm waiting for some sort of explanation as to what this is meant to achieve [...]  So… why did I do what I just did? And what am I supposed to do now?"   (That was posted by someone on the Harmony-Center.com singer's forum last week.)   Yes, there's a big difference between doing singing exercises, and actually singing a song.  Sometimes the transition requires some work, sometimes it...

I have performed with vocalists who sound connected, relaxed, and open during pre-gig vocal warmups, but then sound squeaky, shouty, or forced once they sing on stage. 
And I completely understand!  I used to be one of those vocalists myself.  I could nail my warmups perfectly, but I knew I was forcing it on stage.  What to do?
Vocal exercises are just that... exercises.
Well, first you have to realize that singing vocal exercises on vowels is NOT the same as singing a song with real words. The changes in shape that your mouth and tongue need to make when handling different vowels and consonants mean that your instrument is literally changing while you use it. Imagine if a guitar or a trumpet constantly shifted shape while you played it!  Vocal exercises are an important way to learn new things, but they're only the first step to being able to sing a song with that new technique.
OK, now you can sing songs perfectly in practice.  What goes wrong on stage?
You've learned good technique, and you've...

Vocalists are privileged musicians:  they are the ones in the band who get to determine the key for every song!  This is because, unlike other instruments:

The voice can’t be transposed or alternately tuned
The voice often has decidedly different timbres in different ranges
The voice often has a smaller range than most other instruments in the band

If you haven’t had a lot of experience picking keys for your songs, you may find that picking the right key is a little harder than it seems!
Here’s a story to illustrate.  In one of my first bands, I made a chart for Proud Mary (an awful, nearly useless chart, in retrospect).  I knew I liked singing that song in my lower registers because of the rougher, edgier tonal qualities I can get from my voice in its lower range.  Also, the song has a fairly wide melodic range, and I wanted to have room at the top for high notes later in the song.  So I picked the key of A, and practiced singing the song at home in that key.  It felt nice and comfortable, with a warm, deep, edgy timbre.
But when I got to rehearsal, and was surrounded by drums, bass, guitar, keys, tambourine, and backup vocals, no one could hear me at all in the first verse!
I learned that day that A below middle C, although a completely comfortable note for a jazz gig or medium-volume pop tune, is not a note that I can sing with enough volume to be heard over a loud rock song.  We moved the song up an entire minor third to C, and there it stayed.  The highest notes in the song were a pretty big challenge at first, but after a while they became easy and fun.
Here are some things to ask yourself when picking a key for a new song in your repertoire.
Questions to Ask When Picking Your Key What are the lowest and highest notes in the song?
Determine the song’s range.  Make sure to fit the song within that range.  If the song’s range is larger than your range, you might be able to change the melody a bit to rein in the notes that are outside your range. 
Make sure that when you sing the lowest note, you aren’t pushing at all – that just sounds bad!  And make sure that you don’t have to strain to sing the highest note. 
When you think you’ve picked the right key, make sure to try...

Do you sing covers and/or jazz standards?  Do you find yourself singing just like the artist on the recording?   Would you like to sound more like yourself, and less like an imitation?Here are a bunch of ways to explore, to help you break out of the box of what you hear and find your own sound for the song.

Play with dynamics (getting louder and softer at different times). Intentionally try using different dynamics than the dynamics the original artist used.
Play with phrasing - the way that words are...

Vocalists, like cellists and trombone players, have instruments that can produce infinite gradations of pitch – unlike pianos and guitars, which produce exact pitches according to their tuning.  In order to produce accurate pitch, vocalists must rely on muscle memory, “in-the-zone” hearing, and an accurate mental concept of where pitches live.
Sometimes a flat or sharp note can be used for emotional or artistic effect, but you want any notes you sing out of tune to be intentional choices, not accidents.  Following are a few techniques to improve pitch accuracy. 
Landing Gently
Sometimes we are off pitch when landing on a particular note because we land on it too hard, too fast, or with too much tension.  Here is one of a few techniques for Landing Gently, called Ghost on the Stairs:
First, emphasize the problem:  Imagine a heavy basketball bouncing down a stairway.  Sing the difficult phrase as if your voice is that basketball bouncing down (or up) the stairway of the notes in the phrase.  Try to land hard on each note – you will probably overshoot pitch. 
Now, do the opposite.  Pretend your voice is a ghost floating gently around the stairway.  Sing the difficult phrase by floating...

You know left brain vs. right brain, right?
Left brain:  organized, analytical, judgemental, ego-driven, individual, critical, mathematic, language center, logical, aware of time, tends to rush, tends to live in the past and future, tends to get caught in cycles of thought, likes to classify, sense of personal identity, aware of details, multitasker, tells stories to make sense of our life.
Right brain: creative, holistic, aware of body language and tone of voice, naturally joyful, not aware of time, lives in the present moment, nonjudgemental, noncritical, out-of-the-box thinker, aware of energy dynamics, intuitive, slow-moving, based in the senses, aware of the big picture, singly focused, thinks in images rather than language, open to...

The ability to reset your mental state using an anchor is a great way to handle performance anxiety... if you've learned to anchor.  But sometimes you just need a quick fix! 
Maybe you're tired.  Maybe you didn't get enough sleep.  Maybe you are dealing with some strong emotions.  Maybe you feel unprepared.  Maybe you simply haven't had time to learn how to anchor well!  Whatever the reason, there are a lot of ways to reduce performance anxiety without doing weeks of mental training.  This article describes a few such techniques.  There are lots more!
Stepping Behind Yourself
This technique can allow for a mental/emotional distance that frees you to perform at top level:

Normally, you see the world from the eyes on the front of your head, right?  Try stepping back and seeing the back of your head.  See the scene as if you are standing behind yourself.
Then, step back again.  See the back of the head of the person looking at the back of your head.
Try stepping back again and again, seeing a succession of back-of-heads with the “performing you” in front.

Role Play
This technique is a variation on Bringing Your Perfect Self, but doesn't require advance mental preparation.  (And, for anyone who couldn't quite identify with the Perfect Self idea, Role Playing can be a bit less of a stretch.)

Think of a musician who embodies the characteristics you wish you had.  See how this musician performs.  Feel how it must feel to be this musician.
Now, imitate this musician.  What would this musician do in your challenging situation?  How would he/she enter the stage?  What would he/she say between songs? ...

Do you imitate the sounds of your favorite singers?
You probably do to some extent, without realizing it.  We are products of the musical environment we surround ourselves with!
But...
Do you really study your favorite vocalists?  How they pronounce words?  How they phrase their lines?  The dynamic variation they use throughout the song?  How they use vibrato, or don't?  How breathy or how clear they sound?  How big, fat, round and deep, or (conversely) how pointed and sharp their sound is?
Do you try then to imitate the exact things they're doing?
I encourage you to do two things which will help develop both your abilities and your unique sound: 
1) Listen.  Really...

It happens…  Those nights when the audience just isn’t that into you.  Maybe you were booked in the wrong venue for your genre.  Maybe you’re having a really off night.  Who knows.  But what do you do when it happens?
Change It Up
First, why isn’t paying attention?  Are you being boring?  You may be loud, but if you’re always loud, that’s boring.  You may be playing powerful heartfelt ballads, but if that’s all you’re playing, that’s boring too.  Here are some ideas for changing up your show to create more interest:

You know how when someone’s talking to you and they suddenly start speaking really quietly, you start paying more attention?  You can do this in your show.  Experiment with dynamics, both within a single song and from song to song.  Rock that chorus harder than usual, but then bring the verse down lower than you normally do.

Create more...

You've rehearsed with the band, and everyone knows how the songs all go.  You've memorized your lyrics.  You feel good about the show.  You're not even nervous this time!  Isn't that enough for a great show?   Um....  NO.   OK, maybe the subject line is a little harsh this week.  You're not going to RUIN your performance by doing these things.  But you WILL dilute it - a lot - and you may direct the audience's attention at the wrong thing... or lose their attention entirely. 10 Ways to Ruin Your Performance  
1.  Oversing Especially if you're singing with a rock, metal, blues, or funk band, the on-stage volume can be way louder than you expect, as a vocalist.  You may feel like you have to yell to be heard over the band.  But remember:  the sound person has you turned up as loud as you need to be in the house speakers!  The room can probably hear you.  You need the  monitors turned up so you can hear yourself - you don't need to yell instead of scream.
 2.  Do the Funky Walk It's so tempting!  You want to get from Here to There while the music is playing, so you do the Funky Half-Dance / Half-Walk.  What this means is that the music is controlling you.  It needs to be the other way around.  You CAN walk...